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People can get a little weird about second weddings, but there's really no need to. Because when we say вЂњ'til death do us partвЂќ, that's not always how things really play out-and that's OK. There are a lot of second marriages out there. It's not a cynical take on marriage, it's just an honest one. And, of course, there are a lot of marriages that do last, where they do live happily ever after-every couple is different. But sometimes life happens. It might be that a spouse passes away, that your circumstances change, or that you simply fall out of love and realize that the best decision for both of you is to be happy with other people.В
And in that way, second marriages can be really special-because it's a second chance, a new start for happiness. A lot of the time, the couple will feel more empowered and assured, knowing that they're more comfortable with what they really want. But the tricky part can be how to make the second wedding as special as the first. Often, brides have a lot of questions about a second wedding. Do you still wear white? Can you have another huge party?
The truth is, the second wedding can be whatever you want it to be-here are some second wedding tips to keep in mind.В
Make It As Big (Or As Small) As You Want
A lot of second wedding advice tells you to keep a second wedding small and intimate-and if you want to, go for that. Some people don't feel the need to go through all of the fuss a second time. But a second wedding shouldn't feel like an apology. If you want to have a blow-out bash, then go ahead and have a blowout bash-you haven't done anything wrong, you don't need to be demure if you don't feel like it. It's still your wedding, so if you want it to be big and over the top, then go for it. It's totally OK to own your decision to get married again-and the people closest to you should support that.
Rethink Traditional Family Roles
One of the great things about second weddings is you may feel freer to mix things up a little bit more-and incorporate your family in new and meaningful ways. So if your father has already walked you down the aisle once, you might want to skip that and opt for a family sand ceremony instead or incorporate some of his favorite music into the event.В
If you have kids, it can feel like an incredible moment to have them involved in your second wedding. Maybe as flower girls, giving readings, or even walking you down the aisle-there are so many ways you can show the importance of your family on this big day. Often, a second marriage feels like entire families joining together, so make sure to put that on show.В
And if one of you has had a spouse pass away, there are a lot of ways to incorporate them into the day, if that feels right. Sewing a bit of their favorite shirt into the inside of your dress, including one of their favorite poems-don't be afraid to include their memory, if you feel like that would be meaningful.В
Relax Some FormalitiesВ
If you felt tied to tradition during your first wedding, you may feel that you can relax some of that-and inject some more personality into the day. Writing your own vows is a great way to make your second wedding unique and really put your stamp on it. Or you may want to choose a more relaxed reception, a day-time wedding, or more fun and silly entertainment. Of course, if you'd prefer for everything to stay traditional, that's OK too-what's so amazing is that the choice is totally yours.В
Consider Your Guests
You may also want to consider relaxing some of the formalities for the guests-if most of your guests have already given you a wedding present, you may want to forgo a wedding list this time around (especially if it was recent). And keep in mind any expectations you placed on them for your last wedding. Destination ceremonies are a lot of fun, but if you just had guests paying thousands of dollars for a tropical wedding a few years ago, it might not be fair to have them do it again already. And it will feel more unique if this wedding doesn't completely mirror your first wedding, so make sure you're setting them apart.В
Wear Anything You Want
Finally, the wedding dress questions-can you wear white to your second wedding? Of course you can. A lot of advice will suggest that you veer away from a second wedding dress and that you should opt for a cocktail dress or pantsuit-or maybe another color besides white. But you know what? You can wear a wedding dress if you want to. You can wear 10 wedding dresses if you want to and change every hour, on the hour, into one more white and more dramatic than the one before. The point is, it's up to you. Again-a second wedding is not an apology, you don't need to play it down. If you feel more comfortable in a pantsuit or more casual wear, that's great-but if not, then skip them. You're starting a life with someone, you want to do it authentically-so wear what feels right to you.В В
See more: 5 Brides on What it Felt Like Planning a Second Wedding After a Nasty Divorce
Planning a second wedding can feel like a daunting task - especially if you want it to feel as special and meaningful as the first. But remember that you are still in the driver's seat. This is your day, so as long as you make it feel authentically you, it will be special.В